Kali Uchis - Isolation

Kali Uchis has such a dope name. It’s like a vegetable that your hippie friend would recommend. “Eat some Kali Uchis, they sell it at the farmers market on Sundays, it has great benefits for your skin and nails”

Just saying her name makes me feel like I’m making good decisions. Kali Uchis is the shit Papa Smurf said to make Smurfette into a real Smurf. So with all this in mind I had to give Kali Uchis’s album Isolation a shot.

Kali Uchis makes vitamin D music. This tape makes me want to wear short sleeves and kick my seasonal depression to the curb. I never understood the people who played music without headphones on the train until I heard Kali Uchis. I want everyone to hear this the same way they feel the Sun's Rays. 

This is perfect strolling through the city music. The melodies and beats are carefree but the lyrics are provocative enough to keep your head on a swivel. Like “fuck these sweet ass sounds nigga, shit is still real out here”. Kali Uchis makes music for the Joggers who find dead bodies on Law and Order. 

This album is quietly intense. It kind of reminds me of that scene in the Warriors where Cochise and them almost got stabbed by that Girl Gang. If I was making a 2018 version of Homer's "The Odyssey" (The Rock as Odysseus) I would hire Kali Uchis as a Siren. I just can't get over the vibe that I think she'd kill me. 

This album isn't for everyone though, if you don't smoke weed or owe money when you do taxes, you aren't going to like this album. It doesn't really go anywhere. It doesn't have to go anywhere. It's like waves in the Ocean or Male HPV. It just exists. I give Isolation 7 "Babe quit playin, drop the gun" pleas out of 10.