Young Dolph and Key Glock - Dum and Dummer 2

Humility is overrated. 

It’s good to have a fair view of yourself but  people really love “humility” because it’s not threatening. You don’t have to worry about your own insecurities when you’re around a humble person. I honestly think there’s some racial shit behind it too, white people talk about humility with the same tone they use to talk about eloquence. I spent a lot of time talking down myself or my accomplishments while bigging up my losses. But every so often I would catch myself listening to the most arrogant rappers shit on my life for an hour straight. How can I be a “humble” person when the people I aspire to be are all cocky pieces of shit? It wasn’t til this morning that I realized that it’s ok to celebrate and be proud of your accomplishments, it’s ok to feel good, it’s ok to turn up. Someone people might call you arrogant but fuck them they don’t get it. They might even call you Dumb, but to that I say “we can get dumber too.” 

So with that let’s get into Young Dolph and Key Glocks newest mixtape, the aptly titled “Dum and Dummer 2”

These memphis Niggas are on fire. 

I’ve been a fan of Young Dolph for almost a decade. My favorite thing about him is that he doesn’t have punchlines; he just has lines he screams louder than others. (Don’t play with me, PLAY WITH YO BITCH) At damn near every low point of my mid 20s to early 30s Young Dolph has gotten me through. When I heard that he put his younger cousin Key Glock on I was thrilled to hear these niggas rap together. The first tape proved that they were a solid tag team, this tape proves that they the Hardy Boyz.  

If you need music for when the stimmy hit the same week as your tax refund, paycheck AND second vaccine shot, this the tape for you. This tape makes you feel like the richest nigga in the room even if you on the train, in that case you the nigga with the most money on his metro card. The chemistry these two have is insane, if one’s not rapping he’s hyping the other up, if one got a solo track you can tell the other was in the studio cheering them on; it’s beautiful to see. This is the shit you listen to when you tip your UberEats driver 15 dollars on a 12 dollar order. They know you didn’t need those fries from McDonald’s at 3 AM but you appreciate that he got them to you before they got soggy. 

What really impresses me is the growth of Key Glock. On Dum and Dummer 1 it felt like he relied on Dolph’s guidance, on this tape he’s fully in his own lane. He’s swinging for the fences while Dolph sits back proud like a nigga who just taught a white person how to dance. This shit really goes hard. 

If I had to think of any faults I’d say that things can get a little competitive between the two of them. It’s a fun competition but sometimes the song can get lost behind “who can have a better verse”. But if anything it’s a good problem to have. Sometimes you get caught up in trying to be great that you forget what makes you great. 

Overall I had a lot of fun with Dum and Dummer 2. It’s fun to hear music that makes you say “man fuck those bills I’ll pay them later” and then never pay them. Glock and Dolph continue to grow and I’m excited for what’s next. I give “Dum and Dummer 2” 8 of Key Glock new veneers out of 10

2 Chainz - So Help Me God!

2 Chainz is the Bryan Cranston of Rap, highly respected but it wasn’t til a star making turn as a drug dealer did people truly appreciate him. Plus he’s so consistently good that people can forget about him. Chainz is never bothered though, he sits back and does whatever he wants and occasionally blesses us with an an album.

So with that, let’s get into “So Help Me GOD”

2 Chainz is living an only child’s dream.
Basically this album just tracks Chainz as he lives his life and turns up while coming in and out of peoples lives whenever he feels like it. This is the perfect album to listen to if you wanna go to the party late and leave early. It makes staying socially distant so much easier, which is important for any album in 2020. I really do like the fact that Chainz references COVID, mostly because so many rappers don’t. I honestly don’t get it, I’ve seen niggas rap about onlyfans, the stimulus package and the Clippers losing, how hard is it to reference the virus that’s got the world at a standstill?
If I had to vote for a rapper to be president, it’d be 2 Chainz. He’s empathetic and wants to help the people around him, but he can only hand out so much money before he gets annoyed...and keeps giving money to those who need it. A big theme of this album is “I help who I can, but at some point you gotta buy your own butt implants”. That’s totally a campaign slogan. This album made me realize that 2 Chainz has all the dreads Lil Wayne lost.

This album does feel uneven though, it’s very clear that he’s more enthusiastic about some songs than others. So as a result some songs drag and the album can feel longer than it actually is. Personally I think a skit would help, but I love album skits so I’m bias. I honestly can’t imagine anyone under the age of 28 enjoying this music. Nothing about this says “hey let’s all get drunk and make bad decisions.” If anything it says “hey let’s get drunk and celebrate the fact that we did our taxes on time”. Also I know Kanye is a legend and he’s one of my favorite artists of all time, but we don’t need any more conspiracy bars.

Overall “So Help Me God” is another good 2 Chainz album. 2 Chainz music is like the menu at TGIFridays; it’s not the most exciting thing ever but there’s something for everybody.

I give “So Help Me God” 7.5 “how much you need” texts out of 10

SAINt JHn - While The World Was Burning

SAINt JHn is the person I think I’d be if I had money.

He’s confident, charismatic and reckless while still calculated. He’s basically a Dragonball Z villain in their final “wait this monsters actually kinda hot” form. In the review of his last album I mentioned that my ex had a crush on him, well in this review i realized I have a crush on him. But like the man crush version where instead of wanting to sleep with him I actually just wanna BE him (somehow that’s more gay, “i wanna be inside you<<<<< “i wanna be inside your spirit” ) I look at SAINt JHn the way white guys look at Elon Musk; I want everything he has so I’ll defend him cuz he’s my dream manifested. So in other words, I’m a fan of his music.

With that said, let’s get into his newest collection, “While The World Was Burning”

It’s important to trust the process.

At first I was really confused at why he called his albums “collections” until I realized they’re all part of the same story. Some artists try to tell multiple stories, some strive to tell the same one until it feels finished. SAINt JHn is the latter. It’s pretty impressive when you remember one of the biggest hits in 2020 is a song he released in 2016. In an era where everyone’s desperate to make new music because fans are spoiled and believe they deserve 15 tracks every 3 months, SAINt JHn is rereleasing music from the last Obama year. That’s impressive as hell. Beyond that though, this collection is pretty solid, while the subject matter hasn’t changed, the energy has.

The most striking thing about this collection is the quality of the features. On his last collection “Ghetto Lenny’s Love Songs” it felt as if every feature (besides the angel Lenny Kravitz) wasn’t sure of what to make of SAINt JHn. On this collection it’s clear everyone is on board and it’s beautiful to see. It’s like watching the new kid at school make his first real friends. JHn really got DaBaby to stop his one flow and try that sing songy shit, he got a Nigga thats KILLED People to sing about Monica Lewinsky, that’s impressive. Well to be fair, Monica Lewinsky had an affair with Bill Clinton, so hearing a murderer say her name isn’t exactly brand new.

Beyond the features, this album is basically the same as his last one. It’s vaguely horny, cool and ratchet, it’s like using Tinder on Dark mode at 2 AM. Some people might be put off by this as, instead of a step forward it’s more a step to the side, but that’s what he wants. At one point on the album SAINt JHn says “I could’ve blown up 5 years ago but I was really ballin” so in his mind it’s clear that he’s been at his peak and doesn’t need to do much more artistically. It’s not his job to make us see who he really is, we have to meet him where he’s at. This album feels like buying a new iPhone for the camera, it’s basically the same but you see things a bit clearer.

I like “While The World Was Burning” a lot, this is a good album to listen to if you wanna buy condoms AND plan b at the same time. Based on his trajectory, I’m guessing that it’ll truly succeed in 2022 in a world where senators are using TikTok and journalists have face tattoos. I listened to it in a wifebeater and woke up in a silk shirt.

I give “While The World Was Burning” 7 strip club chicken wings out of 8.

Kaash Paige - Teenage Fever

The Rony has no sign of letting up and that’s really affected how I listen to music. Before Rona I used music as a tool, it was the soundtrack to block out train delays, police sirens and white People saying “Okurr”. It’s hard to find time to listen to music when the world is on fire every other hour. However I still take the time to try and listen. Music means the world to me and the fact that artists are still taking the time out to create needs to be appreciated. What makes it more special is watching more and more black female artists decide 2020 is still their time to shine. 

So with all that said, let’s get into Kaash Paige’s new album “Teenage Fever”. 

This is cool, I don’t belong here but it’s cool. 

Teenage/young female artists always give me a bit of pause. I always feel uncomfortable LOVING their music, not because it’s bad or anything, it’s just weird to be a grown man like “oh my god this little girl is incredible”. I tend to approach their music like I’m their older brother: “I’m proud and will support but yo put that butt away, no one wanna see that little butt”. Kaash’s shit is good though. It sounds like she’s genuinely searching for her voice and what she’s about, it’s a journey worth investing in. 

This is the music the cool girl in your friend group listens to after she secretly has sex with another person in the friend group. Some of these songs sound like “yo let’s go to the strip club and turn up” and others sound like “I noticed that one stripper really liked you, that was interesting”. If you’re  niggas that says “I wanna date someone that wears Js and smokes blunts” this album is for you. White guys have “manic pixie dream girl, niggas have “super chill girl who’ll fight your ex”. They’re both fantasies but the black one sounds like more fun. 

To be honesty A lot of music sounds like this, but Kaash is the only Kaash so it stands out. Yea it’s really moody and druggy, but when you’re under 25 your brain isn’t fully formed so it’s hard to regulate how you feel. This is really good though laid back party music. Usually you only hear ambiguous women who say nigga a lot whisper sing about the party, so it’s really refreshing to hear a black woman croon with a bit more effort and a lot less “niggas”. This is good album to listen to while you tie a silky du-rag knot to the front. “Teenage Fever” is more proof that Kid Cudi is one of the most influential artists of all time, he made this kind of music mainstream and really deserves his flowers. 

I liked Kaash Paige’s album a lot. I can see myself playing this on a date to impress her with my musical taste while we’re both drunk. She’s also a name I can drop to show my younger cousins I’m still cool. The music is a bit generic but it’s a generic ass time; we all in the house. I give “Teenage Fever” 6 and a half bucket hats out of 9. 

City Girls - City on Lock

The City Girls make me feel broke. Well most rappers make me feel broke, that’s usually their whole deal. But the City Girls make me feel broke in a way that Rick Ross or Meek Mill never could. I’ve never listened to Rick Ross and thought, “damn I don’t have enough money to speak to you about anything”. It’s real painful, their music brings me back to College when I was talking to a girl who got flewed out to Las Vegas by another nigga the next day. I probably shouldn’t enjoy them as much as I do but, I think my kink is being told I’m broke by beautiful black women. (I really hope my mom doesn’t see this, actually no, she’d be cool with this)

So with that said, let’s get into the City Girls new album “City on Lock”. 

Well ok. 

It’s fun to see them talk cash shit about things they actually did. Magazine covers, pregnancies, new teeth, they won. This album is very much a victory lap feel. The energy of their first album “Girl Code” was “I’m gonna get paid no matter what”, the energy of “City on Lock” is “I got paid, and I’m gonna keep getting paid”. This is a good album to listen to if you just got your tax refund, stimulus package AND paycheck on the same day. This is “fuck that bum ass job” music. JT and Yung Miami have an amazing chemistry, they could finish each other’s sentences and scams like second nature. One could pickpocket you and the other would help you look for your wallet, it’s true comradery. 

There are some really dope songs here, the beats are great and the raps are bold. Doja Cat takes a break from showing feet in racial chatrooms and has a solid verse. It’s a fun distraction. There are some parts where I think the features don’t match the energy of the City Girls and I think that hurts the tape. However I don’t hold that against the City Girls, it’s hard to keep up with two best friends with inside jokes and memories.  

My biggest problem with the tape is the length. While it’s a fun sprint it ends rather abruptly. It kind of feels like a lap dance at a strip club that you want to last forever but only lasts 5 minutes. Short albums are cool, I actually enjoy them more because of ADHD, however this one could’ve been a little longer. This would be a great pre-game album in a pre-COVID world, but getting dressed and taking shots to this album before putting a mask to stand 6 feet away from everyone just feels depressing. 

“City on Lock” is fun, I’m happy JT and Yung Miami can make music together, but I wish we got more. I give “City On Lock” 5 wigs tied in a rubber band out of 8.