Bad Bunny - YHLQMDLG

2020 is off to a weird start. We lost Kobe Bryant, the Coronavirus might kill us all and despite it all I feel like I’m in a good place. While tragedy and stress are seemingly around every corner, I feel that I can be openly and honestly myself. I’ve cried more than usual and my phone has been in Spanish for some reason. A lot of people ask me why my phones in Spanish, well to be honest I was drunk in Cancun and it seemed like a good idea. I was ordering drinks in Spanish and it was cool, everyone was patient. Then I came home and realized it’s only fun to learn another language when you aren’t broke. Ever since then it’s kinda just stuck. For the most part it’s been easy; it was tricky to ask for an extension on my t-mobile bill but I made it work. I still don’t speak Spanish but I like having it around me. 

So with that said, I figured I’d celebrate 2 months of a Spanish iPhone by listening to Bad Bunny’s new album “YHLQMDLG” aka “Yo hago lo que me da la gana” aka “I do what I want”

I don’t know what he’s saying but it’s cool!

Bad Bunny is the Puerto Rican Lil Uzi Vert. He’s got an innocence that comes from truly being himself but I know he could get me killed if he really wanted to. Plus these are the only two niggas I’ve seen pull off the septum piercing successfully. I still don’t understand a word he says, but I think he’d be fun to hang out with. We could go solve mysteries like “who’s been haunting the old mine” or “is that girl allergic to latex”. Bad Bunny is what happens when you Season a dangly earring with adobo and leave it in the sun. He’s a carefree being who needs to be protected, like an adorable alien in a “Men In Black” Movie. 

I might not know Spanish but I’m fluent in Trap Music. I don’t know the words but I can tell when he’s rapping about his grind, rapping about his haters, and rapping about the women he sleeps with. Granted I could be completely wrong and end up embarrassing myself the next time I text a Spanish girl, but this is what I feel. This is music I could get my nails painted to, sure its just a clear coat but still, there’s paint. 

Since I don’t know Spanish I had to dig a little deeper and watch Bad Bunny’s music videos to see how he interpreted his music. After watching a few I noticed that a lot of them focus on one kid in his room. Things are colorful but not too bright and things are safe. It’s clear that he has a nostalgic view of his childhood. He misses the innocence and the ability to just be by himself. As an only child I relate to this, there was just something really pure about being left to my own devices. With this in mind the title “I do what i want” makes more sense. He’s not bragging about being above the law or being invincible, he’s happy that he’s free to express himself. This is a good album to listen in that sweet moment where your direct deposit hits but your autopay bills haven’t. Those sweet times where you look at Zillow or TripAdvisor and fantasize about what your life could be. It’s a vacation from the stresses of life. It’s childhood. 

Again, I do not know what Bad Bunny is saying, he could be talking about how much he hates niggas and supports wearing jordan’s with adidas. My heart says his intentions are pure, so I’m sticking with that. I give “YHLQMDLG” 7 green plantains out of 8. 

Cam'Ron - Purple Haze 2

I’ll never forget the first time I saw the Get Em Girls video.

I was in 10th grade (the first time), I was 14, and awkward as hell. I came home one day, put my bag down and turned on Rap City. That video was like a dream. I couldn’t believe the amount of swag I was witnessing. Cam’Ron was like a god damn superhero. I didn’t know what I just watched, but I knew that it was a single from his upcoming album, “Purple Haze”. 

Purple Haze is one of the most influential rap albums in my life. Like, I took mushrooms and listened to Purple Haze; this shit is important. I often listen to this album to remind myself of my childhood where things were easy and Kanye was still relatable to black people. This album holds a special place in my heart, and I’ll always appreciate it. So with that, I decided to listen to “Purple Haze 2”.

Yea, this really didn’t need to come out. 

There’s a thin line between effortless and not putting in effort.  For a long time Cam’ron effortlessly put words together, he was a natural. However as time as gone on he takes a lot of songs off. It’s not that he can’t rap anymore, he just doesn’t want to. Cam raps with the same enthusiasm I have when I gotta go to the dentist in Ozone Park. “I mean, if I have to do this I guess I’ll do it”. I don’t want to sound too critical though, this is still Cam’ron, he’s one of the best rappers of all time. The magic just isn’t there.

For starters, Cam’ron albums ain’t the same without angry voicemails from women. When I was a kid and afraid of girls because puberty, Cam’Ron was a hero because he spoke with no fear. He laughed when women threatened him and he did not care how mad they got. He was immature and it was so awesome. PH2 does not have the voicemails, but it does have the same immaturity. I won’t lie, it feels weird to hear niggas in their 40s rap about all the hoes they get. Like fam, you 40 with money and your own house, you should have hoes. That’s like me, a college grad millennial, rapping about all my debt. No ones surprised. It’s not charming to hear a 40 year old man rap about bagging a 22 year old. What do y’all even do together? Talk about college?

As I stated earlier, when Cam wants to rap, he can RAP. Dude paints a picture better than most. When he wants you to feel something, you can feel it. In that famous Bill O’Reilly interview, Cam calls himself an Author, there are many times during this tape that I feel this is true. There are also times on “Purple Haze 2” that I have no idea what son is talking about. It needs some real organization. This album felt like eating breakfast for Dinner. My theory is that Cam’ron needs a strong team around him. Cam is a raw talent who was born to rap, he needs people around him that can help him with the vision. On this album there aren’t many high profile features, the beats are all just ok and there isn’t much that ties it to the original Purple Haze. I would’ve loved to hear Hell Rell rap or hear Juelz call in from prison. Purple Haze was dope because we were watching the leader of a movement show his worth, Purple Haze 2 is just one nigga rapping. 

This is the type of album you listen to when you wanna impress your little cousins. This album feels like seeing the flyest nigga on your block in 2005, in 2020. His girls still bad, he’s still fly, but the energy just ain’t the same. Purple Haze 2 is like a platinum chain. At one point nothing could’ve seemed bigger than this, but today it’s just a reminder of a bygone era. 

I honestly don’t think this album is THAT bad, I just think Purple Haze 1 was Amazing. If this album wasn’t called Purple Haze 2 and was called, i dont know “some songs I wrote while buying some sneakers” I’d probably like it way more. It’s hard to put yourself up against your legacy; this album is like if Vince Carter was in the Dunk Contest today, we didn’t need this. 

Cam’Ron had a big effect on my life, but I can’t excuse him for letting Wale rap about nutting on shorties. Wale a good Nigerian man, no one wanna hear him rap about dirty sex. I give Purple Haze 2, 2 out of 5 Purple Tops, this isn’t what you need.